I like this whole blogging stuff cuz I can just bitch if I need too, TODAY is that day.
Well first thing is that a few days ago I got a call from my doctors office. I was told that my inflammation markers were starting to go down and look more normal. I was thrilled. BUT today I checked on them. My doctors office has this portal thing so you can always look at your test results. Ok I went down 3 points. 3. What....the...hell. Ok people, my inflammation markers were super high and I am sorry but going down three points is not that awesome of news. Yeah, awesome I am going down but I am still a high risk.
You know, I called my doctors office and asked to talk to someone about nutrition. I said I wanted to more informed on how to best eat with having some of the medical conditions I have. So they told me they do not have any nutritionist but I could set up an appointment with my pill pushing doctor. Yeah,ok. WHY would I do this? Every time I would go see my doctors in the past 18 months NUTRITION was NEVER brought up. NOT once. You would think that nutrition may be infact crucial to my healing. Not to my doctors. It was ALL about medications and that really pissed me off. I should have had faith it it? I truly believe if more people understood nutrition people would eat better. Were so conditioned to treat our symptoms and NEVER the problem. Medications and surgeries, time wasting follow ups, insurance denials........... Just when has a patient had ENOUGH!
When will they say to you, hey you feel like shit because you eat like shit. Hey your overweight because you sit on your ass all day and hit up the 99 cent heart attack deal at the drive though. That is why YOU have to take control. People laugh at organic and alternative therapies but think about it!. CUT out the shit that is killing you. Live differently because obviously the way we are living is NOT working for us.
Its all about money. And its true we stress ourselves out to buy the shit we THINK we want. We think it will make us happy but its just more stress. I feel like we all need to just STOP and chill out. Take a breath! That is what I am forcing myself to do, I am forcing myself to stop listening to EVERYONE else and listen to myself.
We dont really have that long here. I mean just step back right at this moment and ask yourself, When did I get here?How did I get here? Is college really over? Never thought it would end...... When did I all the sudden have a home...a dog,.....my own lawn to cut?
If you could only re live that memory of meeting the person you fell in love with again, go back to the minute he said he would be gone for a few months and how it made you want to fall to your knees because you realize you loved him.... The moment that minister said I now Pronounce you Man and Wife. The moment the doctor said, Your Pregnant. The minute you heard your baby cry. The very second he told you he loved you. Or even how it feels when someone just tells you...It will be ok. These moments go so freak-en fast. And maybe its hard to me to grasp it all. Especially when I hear people that I went to high school with who are on their third baby or even second marriages. Cuz I remember them as they were in high school. I wish I could let that go. I wonder if it ever goes away...If you could seriously look at someone from high school and say that have truly changed. If I can view them as different people than they were back then. And I am amazed at how quickly that had checked itself. People writing me. People I knew as a different person back then who confessed personal things to me. Unreal. And I was so open to it. They always looked picture perfect and its nice to know that were real....even if highs school didn't let them be. lol. Because Ill be damned sure they are going to teach their children to be nice to everyone. -even though they wont be. =)
Because sometimes we don't think it could be ok..........Its just soo much to take in. LIFE not things. If you can do the best you can and put a smile on your face, that's lucky.
I remember some specific moments. I DO remember the second Chris told me he was moving to Colorado and how when he left that morning in November I fell to the ground.( It was actually my lawn at 4am in the dark and Chris said he couldn't go if I didn't go inside....I would have sat on the lawn forever... I prayed he would turn around. I prayed I would see break lights but never did. I crawled back to my room and thought my life was over..........But than I think if he didn't go, I wouldn't be sitting here with him as my husband in our home.
I remember the moment I was told dad had Parkinson's. I remember not having a clue what it meant. But Ill tell you what, I know now.
I remember the anxious feeling of working so hard to try to get out our home. Between all the No's from the banks and lack of income.classes to show we could be homeowners...we thought we would never be approved for a home ever. But than it all changed and the handshake saying, Congratulations your a home owner. WOAH.
There is more but maybe for a later blogging lol
And I think YOU whoever is reading mine right now should start your own. You would be surprised at how awesome it feels to just write. Who never know who is reading or whose views you may be changing...
I think life never turns out to be the way you think, but its almost got to be that way. Just like this blog. I was all over the place, but that's how I write the best. That's how I like to write.
The free-er the better because life doesn't always allow me or you to be that way. So I say we start to think how can we really start living to make ourselves happy? Don't waste time. You barely have any to begin with...
Today I am Thankful For: The sticker above is from all the nice feedback from you...people have written and shared with me things they probably never thought they would.......
Blog It.
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